♠ Complicated ♠

It's the new beginning or the same ending ?

Finally met him yesterday .
Had dinner together with my laima's family =)
Haha it's so funny to seeing his shy face
Hmm ... I don't know what should I feel now .
Happy ? upset ? satisfy ?
I felt afraid when you're holding my hand
Perhaps , this is because I don't know when will you leave me alone again .
Where's our sweet memories ? Where have it been ?
Somehow , I'm still anticipating for something .
To see you changing and loving like how you did last time .
YOU KNOW I KNEW YOU and
PLEASE DON'T DISAPPOINT ME anymore .

Do you know what it's like to feel so in the dark ?
To dream about a night
And you're the shining star
Eventhough it's seems
Like it's too far away
I have to believe in myself
It's the only way .

Sometimes I do really envy those sweet couples
Stick and hangout together
Meet each other everyday
Hug each other tightly and sleep together
I can only say that wasn't my destiny
Happy - go - lucky ? What's that ? Can eat ?
There's no such word [ lucky ] in my dictionary .
Yeah human should be tough and live for themselves
Especially girls , who used to be the victim in love .
But , whatever ... I admit I'm just ... weak .
And now , I seriously don't know what am I talking about
But just feel like blogging and express some shits here .

I miss someone badly .
Not him , but him .
Why is the time so short ... ?

Judge me and I'll prove you wrong
Tell me what to do and I'll tell you off
Say I'm not worth it and watch where I end up
Call me a bitch and I'll show you one
Fark me over and I'll do it to you twice as bad
Call me crazy
But you really have no idea .

我认命 , 可是我不会认输 .

◤ The 45th Day You Left ◥

Happiness doesn't belongs to me .

I’m staring into space .

Now , wouldn't that be refreshing ?

I know it's too hard ...

I'm still trying my best ,
To give you everything best .

Someone told me ,
" Sometimes goodbye's the only way . "

......

❤ The 43rd Day You Left ❤

It'll be better in time ?

Sorry for the lack of updating
I was sick like hell these few days . =(

Hangout with Yein yesterday .
Something happened made me sibeh shocked and dulan
Okay , yesterday about 3pm I was headed to ampang park , Yein's working place .
When I sat down and started chat with her
She show me her face and hands
Omfg semua black green !
She told me that she fight with her boy again =___=
Whathafark made me speechless ...
Okay just forget this part . Then we decided to dabao MCD together .
Suddenly she passed me some money and asked me to go alone
Cause she argue with her boy again [ Her boy's working place is just beside her working place . That's why very convenient . ]
Since she said like this okay I go alone ...
When I came back I saw they kept shouting at each other
The volume loud till those floor sweeper also come and see show ... = ="
I thought it's okay la cause we all used to see they argue already
Buthen her boy whacked her
Is ' WHACK ' not ' SLAP ' .
Not really remember how they fight , but it really scared me
I was holding Mcchicken and Fillet-O-Fish that time , how to stop them ?
I can still remember the sound ... Yein's head knocked the floor ...
Freaking terrible and farking horrible !!!
I just don't understand why couple could be like this ?!
Fight and fark you like you killed her / his parents today , buthen sleep together again the next day ?!
Omg ... Dak ge meh ?
What can I said is just : Ma - Cao - Hai .
Really really speechless ...
I couldn't blame my friend cause that's her decision to be with a moron with dog attitude .
But ... Aiks ... Don't wanna judge anything .
That's none of my business cause I can't even take good care of myself .

Funny . Is this we call LOVE or RELATIONSHIP ?
No difference with child's sand game .

Goodnight , dizzy , shit .
Omg dizzy like drunk !

Babe I love you . <3
One more last time believe .

♀ The 41st Day You Left ♂

Miss you finally .

● It'll Still The Same - The 40th Day ●

Another day has gone , I'm still all alone .

Well , it's been a long time since last time I posted some bullshits here .
My pc just finished repairing .
Ishhh ... How pity to survive without computer =(

There're so many things happened in this week
But I'm not about to tell it .
I just felt sick . Seriously sick .
The feeling of raise you up till the top and " pang ! " push you down .
It's okay if you all don't understand what I'm saying
Cause I'm freaking blur now .
When I thought things were going well
And I got my life back on track
You come around and drop a bombshell for me .
All I can say is thanks . Thanks alot , farking , lot .
And this isn't about CSH .
I don't really feel like talking about anything right now .



Wish .
I'll be start praying , hope that's not an empty promise again .

♦ The 33rd Day You Left ♦

Everything just a lie .

7 Things That Scare You :

1) Ghost
2) Insects
3) Accident
4) Dark places
5) Disappointment
6) Insomnia
7) NO MONEY

7 Things That You Love :

1) Money
2) Shopping
3) Eat
4) Sleep well without nightmare
5) Chit-chatting and yamcha with buddies
6) Being pamper
7) Uncle Hong

7 Important Things In Your Room :

1) Bed of course = ="
2) Mirror
3) Air cond
4) Blanket with my own smell
5) My lovely pillow
6) Tissue
7) Dustbin

7 Things You Plan To Do Before You Die :

1) Kill all the kids who calling me auntie .
2) Get marry and born kids for my husband . Do whatever a woman should do .
3) Dakip LV shop
4) Travel around the world .
5) Get a shotgun and shoot those bitches who criticize me before .
6) Do voice surgery and sing like Rihanna . I'm gonna duet with Chris Brown too . hahahahahaha
7) Don't know . Sleep well , eat full , die good that's all I expected .

7 Thing That Attract You To The Opposite Sex :

1) Skinny
2) Smart
3) Short and clean fingernails
4) Elder than me and mature
5) Short hair with pure black or brownish
6) Nice smell on body without any perfume
7) Anti-lala , Fark you lala .

7 Things You Say The Most :

1) Omfg
2) Lmao
3) Want meh ?
4) I don't know
5) Dak ge meh ? [ cantonese ]
6) Farkiu
7) Diam

Now I tag Ann ger , Viona , Teng Yee , Angelol and Cass .

Sorry , kinda moody .
Goodnight .
Tired , stress ...

I wish that things are different
And this is really too painful to continue at the moment .
I've got no choice if you chose to be like this ,
So cool to me ...

【 The 32nd Day You Left 】

Depressed all the time .
Sick and sad .

Tell me , is this the way it's meant to be ?
Tell me , what else I can do ?

♣ Boy It's Time To Come Back - 31st Day ♣

I admit I'm getting old =_="

First of all , Happy Father's Day to my lovely + fatty daddy .
Seterusnya , Happy Birthday to my lengzai brother =)

Although today was father's day
I didn't celebrate it with my father instead of dinner with my laima's family .
Hey I'm not purposely leave my dad alone okay ?
He went paktoh with my mum again ...
So ... It's not my fault
And I'm always a good girl ^^ ( lying . shhh . = =" )
Phew ... Today ate alot of things
Wtfh it's my favourite seafood again ...
Hell I'm gonna become a fatty like my dad soon !
I don't understand why is everyone telling me that I'm skinny ?
Omg sight problem so serious ke ? LMAO !
Actually I didn't feel like dinner with laima's family
It's just because of I'm afraid of their nonstop powerful nagging skill
" Yan yan why don't you work ? "
" Go and study or learn something la ..."
" Your boyfriend leh ? Didn't come along ? "
" Don't you feel bored that always staying at home ? Go and get a job to spend your time ... "
Bla bla bla etc .
Uncles and aunties , I can almost memorize it already la ...
The only thing I could do is >>> =) [ fake smile ]
Or else what can I do ? Scold them " Oiii STFU la banyak bising !! " ?
Impossible right ... Sigh .
Please gimme some time and stop pressuring me .
Aiks . It's okay since I long time didn't meet them
And those stupid kids keep calling me ' auntie '
Farkiu meh ? Nowadays kids were so hak yan chang
Call ' lenglui jiejie ' cannot ga ? Must ' auntie ' ? ' Auntie ' sounds friendly abit ?
What the hack ... Made me always terpaksa to mention that I'm only 18 .

I felt glad to heard those words from you
At least you're letting me know that I am in your heart .
I was totally disappointed that you broke the promise we made ...
Again , again and again ...
You're just keep on repeating the same mistakes and made me down everytime .
I tried my best not to angry you , but sometimes ... Argghh sorry to tell you that I'm just a human .
I knew you always hope that you're the only one in my heart
Yes , you are .
Why can't you just be confident ?

I listen to the same song again and again and every line brings a meaning to me , to us .
To what used to be , to what could have been , to what's happening now .
Sometimes it makes me sad . And scared . And uncertain .

However . Now , all I know is
You're so far away from me
I'm here alone all the time and keep thinking about the memories and times we had together ...

Give us a chance .
Believe me , believe yourself , believe us .
Goodnight , I love you . I swear I do .
I'll prove it to you .

♡ The 30th Day You Left ♡

I had a stupid birthday .
Nothing for me to blame .

However , I still love you .
I believed in you , I really wish you'll be the same ...
I really tried hard ...
I felt despair to knowing that you don't trust me at all ...
Sometimes words doesn't mean anything .
Honestly I prefer actions than apologize .
I'm sick with this stupid word , ' sorry ' .
' Sorry ' ? Works ?

I'm so stress . Deadly stress .
My mum keep on nagging me about my relationship , future etc .
She's just nonstop bili-bala beside me
Wtf it's my birthday ... Just let me relax abit pun tak boleh meh ?
Please don't pressure me anymore .
I'm gonna crazy soon zzz

What can i do ?
I'm totally lost . Just like a stupid bird that is flying without wings .
Sometimes all these shits just made me feel like runaway .

Afterall , I ain't that little girl with shining smile on face anymore ...

Although we're apart ,
Our heart remains the same .

♥ The 29th Day You Left ♥

Thanks everyone for wishing me
Especially Ann ger , PengPeng and ChingChing !!
All of my oldtime buddies ... Love ya'll so muchie =)

Thanks someone for your birthday cake too .
Good luck dude ...

Mr . CKH thankiu for sharing the hapiness with me
I hope we're friends forever
Just forget the past and rebuilt our relationship
This time ain't loveship anymore but friendship =)
That's all I hope ... Take care of yourself and don't touch drugs too often ...
Cause I still hope to see you on next year's birthday hahaha * Touch wood *

Met my old friends Egg Tart and Greentea at pasar malam today
They asked me to go Ruums for celebrate tomorrow = ="
Meh waaa Ruums ? Don't scare me la weiii ...
Isshhh . First day know me meh ?
Ask me clubbing pulak ... Sarang LALA some more .
Anyway thanks for your wishes !

Nothing much to say ...
Whatever ...

Happy Birthday To Myself


The Final Smile =) Skinny horh ?

I wish I could sleep well , eat full and die good someday haha =D
And all I hope is my Uncle Hong would stay happy and healthy . Always ^^

Always remember that ...

♠ The 28th Day You Left ♠

Insomnia came back to me again
I don't have mood to blog any bullshit today
Definitely tired like shit

B I'm so sorry
I didn't mean to break promise
I just don't dare to find you alone
I do really miss you alot
I'm sorry please don't angry and hang my call again .
Finally now you understand what's disappointed ?

Went pasar malam with my old friends just now
I felt so lonely and envy that everyone is having their own partner beside them instead of me and botak
So sad .

Sorry everyone
I'm really dead tired right now
My right eye was swollen since I woke up this afternoon
Damn toh sui ka how come suddenly swollen ?



My stupid swollen eyes zzzz

It's so damn fugly and I can't even accept it when I look into the mirror
Don't talk to me . I'm crazy now .
You can skip my page if you hate me .
I'd never force anyone to read my shitty blog .

2 days remaining .
God why can't I have 2nd choice ?
Please let me sleep well .

Boy you'll never know that you're always the reason
For I couldn't sleep in the middle of the night .

[ Struggle ]

Ashanti - Struggle

I couldn’t fall asleep late last night
Thinking what we had just might be all over baby
And I don’t know if you meant what you said
When you told me you was sick of trying, you was sick of fighting, crying, lying, didn’t wanna do this again
We really said some things
We really did some things
We should’ve never did
And we both know it takes more just to apologize
But from what I’m feeling inside
Boy I’m yours
And boy you’re mine

And even if I said I was leaving babe
I couldn’t picture no more you and me
See I ain’t perfect babe
And you ain’t perfect baby
So listen to the realest thing I could say

Sometimes it’s a struggle babe
And it only hurts cause I love you baby
And for what it’s worth
I will struggle babe
Cause I wanna be in your life
I’ma keep trying

Over and over and over again and over again
Over and over and over again and over again

See we done been together for a few years now
Ain’t no way we just gon sit right here and throw it out
See even if it’s my mistake or if it’s your mistake
And then we scream and shout
You gotta know I love you babe
And I’ma show you babe that we could work this out

So many nights we would tear rooms up in this house
We both know, we both know what is this about
When I look into your eyes
I’m in your heart and you are in mine

And I don’t wanna be alone baby
Cause you are everything I know baby
See you’re everything I need and you’re everything I see and you’re everything I feel and you’re everything to me

Sometimes it’s a struggle babe
And it only hurts cause I love you baby
And for what it’s worth
I will struggle babe
Cause I wanna be in your life
I’ma keep trying

Over and over and over again and over again
Over and over and over again and over again

◤ The 27th Day You Left ◥

I missed my old smiley face .

Ffk by Miss Tan Wy Yee again .
She sms and told me that she'll be having her class tomorrow
That's why . Terpaksa to cancel our date .
Sad .
Lost the chance to meet her and someone .
Supposed to buy him lunch tomorrow
But now ...
What can i do since she said that she's busy ?
Scold her ? slap her ? smack her ? isshh .

It's been almost a month i didn't see him
I felt so empty these days without someone staying beside me ...
My brain was empty . Everything's empty .

3 days remaining .
The fear and disappointment is getting nearer to me ...
I'm forcing myself to be happy
But it seems like really hard .
Too much anticipate for me in these days .
What I get in the end ?
The feeling of disappointment is too bad
I couldn't afford anymore .
God , bless me please .
I don't need anything for this year but please return him to me =(
GG asked for barbeque on saturday .
How am I suppose to be happy without him ...
Barbeque ? Cisss ! Come and roast my butt !

Raining again .
Getting insane .
No more energy to do anything .
I'm so sad ...
End with a sigh . Again .

Looking back at the beginning of this
And how life was
Just you and me and love and all of our friends
Living life like an ocean
Now the currents slowly pulling me down
It's getting harder to breathe
It won't be too long and I'll be going under
Can you save me from this ?

只能说我输了 也许是你怕了
我们的回忆没有皱褶 你却用离开烫下句点
只能说我认了 你的不安赢得你信任
我却得到你安慰的淘汰


P/S : Mr. Angelol I AM REALLY 18 !!! isshh .

❤ The 26th Day You Left ❤

Since when I became a stranger in my own land .

What can I do if you wanna criticize and do childish stuffs behind me .
Go ahead if you think that's funny
Do you think I'll care about it ?
Hahaha don't be stupid and stop creating jokes la aduii .

I figured out that the earth was already full-filled with sohai
There's no more fun in this world
Everything's just destroyed by those sohai
Why must always do those farcical stupid stuffs ?
Sometimes really beh tahan . isshhh !

I started feeling sick with blogging
Perhaps , this is because streamyx was kinda laggy these few days
Sometimes when I feel like writing something here
However , because of the page loading slow
The feel and mood just gone ...
Sigh . Pay for sucks service .

4 days to go .
Ngek ngek ... Ann Ann my baskin robbin !! xD
And Miss Tan Wy Yee where's my candle light dinner ?
Hahaha ... Anticipating =)

My b's toothache not yet cure =(
Betul betul pity la ni ...
Wish to be with you on saturday .
Miss you =(

I'm satisfied with my life
And I don't need any new relationship for now .
So . Don't waste your energy to flirt me =D

4 days remaining ...

♀ The 25th Day You Left ♂

It was another shitty-rainy day .
It must be the greatest thing if I can sleep now muahahaha =X
Streamyx is so freaking sucks and slow like hell when rainy days
Zzzzzz ...


- Tagged by Ann Ger -
Omfg 15 = =" Macam banyak la moi ...


15 Facts About Myself :

1st : I love money because it won't lie to me but makes me happy .

2nd : I'm extremely materialistic so what ?

3rd : Okla I'm a smoker haha [ Love you Dunhill Red ]

4th : I don't really hate clubbing but i hate those seafood suchlike 'lalazai' , 'sihammui' etc . Don't ever try to near me if you're with rainbow colourful hair , outdated stupid miniskirt , fake branded stuffs or bla bla bla . DON'T FARK WITH ME AND I MEANT IT .

5th : I hate pretentious human with noob childish thinking and trying to act like he/she's rich infront of me . Farkoff .

6th : Known as a weirdo , or maybe a bitch .

7th : I love LV and ofcourse Coach but in fact I couldn't afford to get 1 by using my own money . Hahaha = ="

8th : Sushi / Japanese food lover [ Salmon you're always in my heart ]

9th : An addicted shopper but nowadays seriously broke and bankcrupt

10th : I don't have any target or point in my life . Just try my best to sleep well , eat full everyday and waiting for death's coming .

11st : Currently not available [ CURRENTLY only . haha ]

12nd : I'm interested with smart-looking and skinny guys [ I hate fatty although I'm one of them ]

13rd : I'm always being emo without any reason . Whathafark ?

14th : I don't dare to sleep alone eventhough I'm already 18 .

15th : Me . Heart Uncle Hong <3
What you know la he's smart and cute hahahaha

Shit my parents went out again
T___T What the hack can I cry ?
5 days remaining ...

He's having serious toothache =(
I wish he could sleep well later .
Love you B ...
Take good care of yourself .

I AM SO WORRY !!! SHIT !!!

● The 24th Day You Left ●

One more last time I said
I don't need any celebration for my birthday
Genting , PD bla bla bla I DON'T WANT ok ?
Ishhh what so fun ?
Please DO NOT ask me about that anymore . Thankiu .

My parents went out for paktoh = ="
Left us at home with a call
" We'll be back very late today . Ask Ling Ling sleep first ."
Want meh ? =(
Haih so envy since they're already so old but still looked sweet
TA - MA - DE .
How about me ? ISSHHH .
Lol what am I talking about ?
Curse my own parents pulak
Some more my sis is sleeping now
OMFG soooo damn bored
I'm so blur now
So hard to see things without spectacles
Those with serious sight problem really pity la ...
I wonder how they going to survive without spectacles or contact lens .

Issshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I AM SOoOoOo BLUR !!!!!!

6 days remaining ...
God please let me sleep now .

To someone :

有时候我很怀念我们以前一起的生活
时间过得好快 就这样一年了
现在的我们都随着生活的变化而改变了自己
那份隐藏的感情原来一直都还在我们彼此的心里
虽然当时的我们的心里都住着另一个人
然而现在的我偶尔还是会想起你
每当身边的朋友问我还会想你吗 我总笑笑的说算了
我们一起的时间虽然很短 可是我们有的是满满的回忆
过了那么久 我真的还是会觉得很可惜
看见现在的你和她一起 虽然我有点失望 可是我知道你真的会比较开心
毕竟她不会好像我那样 每天给你惹麻烦
我知道我真的很麻烦 很爱管人 很多事 依赖 还很爱哭
可能我们当初的决定 才会有今天活得无忧无虑的你
我想告诉你 那天我很开心
我也很怀念 谢谢你为我做过的一切
我知道你为了我 也曾经把自己的脾气收起
我不会忘记 也忘记不了
对不起 我给不到你最好的
你找到了你想要的 而我的心里最爱的还是他
希望以后的你会过得比我好
像你的名字一样 活得健健康康
我知道我们真的不可能当朋友
可是无论多久 我会记得你 真的 =)

[ Alot of grammar mistakes . Paiseh my mandarin memang sendirian berhad . ROFLMAO ! ]

【 The 23rd Day You Left 】

Met kar yein today and we went saloon for haircut together
Wtf why must everyone call me as ' auntie ' ?
Am I really look like auntie ? What the hack ...
I'm only 18 la weiiii ...
The hairstylist suggested me to dye BRONDE and GOLD colour
Lol want meh ?
Since I was an auntie then what for I still make my hair so IN = ="
Yein patched back with her boy who I mentioned in my previous post
Sigh .
How could you hurt a person that you love ?
Don't tell me this is love
Love shouldn't be like this .
Haih what can I say since that's her decision
I should say that's none of my business ...
Don't know what to write about today
My brain stopped working suddenly
Quite alot of things happened today . * Faint *
Why can't I just have a simple life and live without sadness =(

Sad . 7 days remaining .
Hope everything will be better in time
I'm still here
Wait and wait and wait ...

Do you know ?
It's been the hardest days for me to stay without you .
What's the purpose of I wrote all these stuffs in these days actually ?
It's just because of I miss you
And this is the only way for me to release and shoutout
I know you might not see it .
But I'm just missing you .
I miss you . Miss you badly .
It's not funny at all ...............

♣ The 22nd Day You Left ♣

It's 5pm now and I just reached home
I've been staying at outside for whole night
Don't ask where I go , with who and why .
I just wanna relax a-little bit
It's so hard for me to breath at home
Haha my parents seemed like dead worried about me



Hong . He's still the same old him .

Don't mis-un okay ... He's not my boy but ex-boyfriend .
Anyway , all the best to you .
Our memories would stay forever in my heart
We are friends , right ? =)

The only word that could describe my feeling now is ' complicated ' .
Nothing much .
Everything's became meaningless
I felt that I'd never love again .
My life . Just a one big mess and it's ... doomed .
My lungs kinda pain in these 2 days .
It supposed to be cure since half year ago
But now . Don't know what happen . Sigh .
Pain again . Wtf I don't want clinic = ="
BLOOD TEST IS TERRIBLE !!!
And the DOCTOR IS HORRIBLE !!!
I remember she said this to me before
" Wa ... Lost abit blood only wor like this also dizzy ah ? So weak meh ? "
Wtf I swear someday I'll shoot 9 DIE her if I got a shotgun .

Please do not ask me about how am I going to celebrate my birthday
I'm gonna stay at home with my pillow
Which named ' Justin ' on that day , satisfy ?
Damn . Birthday only what . What's the big deal ?
Just treat it as a broken dream and STFU .

DO NOT MENTION ANYTHING ABOUT MY BIRTHDAY

OR I'LL SMACK YOU 9 9 !!!

8 days remaining ...
Suffocation .

♦ The 21st Day You Left ♦

Again .
Maybe I'm just nothing inside your heart
Anticipate ? No more ...
It's just a broken dream .
I hate it . I hate disappointment .
The feeling is even worst than heart broken

Can you tell me what are you doing when you didn't reply my messages ?
Can you tell me why you always lie me even small matters ?
Can you tell me why you always broke promise ?
Why ? Why must make me angry and disappointed ?
You said you love me . But where is the prove ...

" I'm doing some stuffs ... "

Wow how busy you are ...
What can I do since you wanna use the same reason everytime .

Disappointed . Tears .
WTF . Very funny izit play like this ?
I know you won't comfort me .

9 days remaining ...

♡ The 20th Day You Left ♡

No one is perfect in this world
I've tried my best to be as flawless as possible

But now . I'm tired of it
This is because I realized that
No matter how hard I've tried , it all will be screw up by words .

Time passes so slow in these 20 days
I was trying to fool around with my friends
I was trying to act like I'm fine
Sometimes when I felt lonely or maybe bored
I tried to search for someone who could share my pain
But my phone number was kept changing because of him
And now my phonebook it's only existed not more than 30 peoples inside
I mean included my family members ...
Oh my fark gawd you all must be very surprise right ?
Hahahaha that's me . LMAO !!!

My sister went to our aunt's house
She'll be back after few days or maybe whole week she'll be staying there ...
I'm so hungry right now
But no one acc me for dinner =(
Since my sis wasn't at home ,
My dad didn't buy any food for me instead of left some cash on the table
And ask me to gaodim myself
Wtf rm50 can eat ? T___T

Whatever . It's been a long period I used to be alone .
......

Anticipate ... Tomorrow =)
The new beginning for these days .
I hope you won't disappoint me ...

10 days remaining ...

Mr . Siew YOU ARE SO CHILDISH !!!

Why can't you just be more mature ?
Walao you made me speechless .
WTF LAUGH MY ASS OUT !!!

♥ The 19th Day You Left ♥

Since when you tell me that it'll be ok .

Extremely disappointed
Blank empty brain I have
I need closure at the moment

If I had just one more day
I would tell you how much I've missed you
Since you've been away .

It's so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this .
You disappointed me .

【 The 18th Day You Left 】

This kid was sooooo cute .



"What's your name ? "
He said " Sakai . " Cool right ? haha ...

Omg he's still cute although he's noisy enough .

Went for steamboat with my cousin and some friends today
My stomach is gonna boom soon . Lol .
Soooooo full la weiiiii ... Tak boleh tahan !
My keep fit plan totally destroyed by those fellas . Shiiiit .

I don't have any mood to write much bullshit today
I'm so down . Without any reason .
Feel like cursing everywhere
I felt so pressure since i knew that my birthday is coming soon
Maybe it's not memorable , so he might not remember about it ...

Forget it . I know I shouldn't expect anything .

Lastly ,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY
TO
MY
DEAREST GER

JOANNE CHEW SUE THENG !!! <3


I'm gonna love you like
How I love LV and Coach xD
Hahaha ...

All the best ya =)

I miss the kid
And I miss him too .

♠ The 17th Day You Left ♠

The previous chubby me . Childish ?
It's only few months ago =)

Recently , I think I overdo alot of things
Perhaps , this is because my brain stopped working
And I stopped to think , considerate bla bla bla ...

I ask myself
What have I been doing all these time
I started to think about my future
Sometimes i was wondering , will I be single till the day I leave this world ?
The only factor that keeps me alive is my family
Because I have no other else ...
Isn't it funny , after trying so hard and when everything comes to the end
And you get nothing of it ...
I think I'm doing this all the time . Get nothing finally
That's what make me didn't want to put effort in doing things
Afraid of failures .
Sometimes when you expect in something else
But at last it's not as expected
What will you feel ?

I felt very sad that he's still contact with his ex
Knowing that there's something still on between them
Yet , I could just keep silence
This is the least respect I can give him
I think I'm done with crying
I'm done with acting tough
I'm done with sleepless nights
I'm done with alot of stuffs , people etc .
Sometimes , I do really tired of living in this world .
I couldn't see any lights infront of me instead of darkness .
Don't tell me that you know how I feel
Cause there's no one can get into my mind .



I'm just a doll that is souless
And waiting for death's coming .


Disappointment . The scariest feeling in the world .

" Hehehe ... B , love you ... Muacksss ... "

Somehow , I still remember our memories and promises .

" I've got no choice if you want to lie yourself like that .
Just forget about me ... "

I remember it too .